Composting Bad Guys with Chuck Norris:
As a butt kicker of all things that stand in his way, Chuck Norris needs a bit of rest and relaxation time every now and then. How does he relax, you ask? He co
sts - bad guys? No, he co
sts for his garden. Though it’s not uncommon to find a villainous evil doer in his co
st heap or spinning around in his co
st tumbler! Back when Chuck was enjoying his te
rary hiatus from Walker, Texas Ranger (it’ll be back, just you wait and see!), Chukie decided to spend some quality time getting back with his green self. He achieved this by tending to his mother’s rose pansy gardens. Well, the Season 6 villains from Walker caught wind of his environmentally friendly activities and decided it was time to end it with him by feeding him into a chipper shredder.
Since nothing gets past Chuck Norris, he was well aware of the Season 6 villains’ plans. The morning that they arrived, they found Chue laboriously watering his mother’s flowers with his back turned to them. As they crept in for the kill, Chu
e was able to swiftly roundhouse kick two of them and send them sailing into a rain barrel! The remaining four stood stunned in disbelief until they were knocked to the ground by Chu
e’s iron fist and knee. One managed to back flip back onto his feet, but not for long for Chu
e wouldn’t allow it. In a graceful, Matrix-like fashion, Chu
e dropkicked him - right into an Expandable Worm Tower where he was overcome by voraciously hungry night crawlers.
Three down and three more still standing - Chue wasted no time. Using his wit and no-holds bar technique, he grabbed two of the Season 6 villains by their ankles and swung them into his poison ivy patch (poison ivy is irritating to us mere humans, but Chuck Norris uses it as a skin inhibitor for shaving). The last one refused to go down easy and came after him with a lawn sweeper. How foolish of you, thought Chu
e; you come to fight Walker, Texas Ranger and all you brought was a lawn sweeper?! Saving the best roundhouse kick for last, Chu
e sent him straight into an open co
st bin; of course, Chu
e had to dis
e of him in the garbage afterward because he was starting to make the co
st smell like rotten eggs (an example of what happens when you have too much moisture in your co
st).
With all six of the Season 6 villains properly dised of, Chu
e was able to continue watering his roses and pansies and in peace - until the hiatus is lifted, of course.
